Raising a Giving Child

Involving people, particularly young people, in an opportunity to give for a cause such as those represented in Celebration Donation can be an important step in advancing the case for philanthropy.  

Whether it takes the form of personal giving or volunteering, advocating or fundraising, or even organized grantmaking, all of these approaches to philanthropy have at their root a generous impulse by people to help their neighbors, an impulse that begins with empathy and forms an emotional connection to the cause.  

Please take the time to review the following ideas, activities, and links to nurture that emotional connection in children and youth of any age and move that impulse toward organized philanthropy.  At its core, philanthropy among young people is built on a set of common values about encouraging, respecting, and recognizing the contribution of young people and the responsibility of all citizens to share their money, time, and services to improve the quality of life for all.  

According to the Youth Development Institute of the Fund for the City of New York, for young people who are developing healthy systems of values, giving and philanthropy offer three important rungs on a ladder to success: engaging activities, opportunities for contribution, and opportunities to make decisions with real consequences.

These values can be nurtured at each stage of development by the opportunities adults present to help children and youth practice age-appropriate fundamentals of philanthropy.

Visit the Learning to Give site for more extensive resources regarding youth philanthropy.  The site is a project of the League, a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization that engages students through service learning programs to get in the game of giving thoughtfully of their time, treasure and talent to make themselves, their community and world a better place.

The following age-level summary has been adapted from www.learningtogive.org

Nurturing the Gift of Giving:  Infancy Through the Preschool Years
From the earliest learning moments, your child will watch the model practiced by the family to form his or her understanding of the world.  Developing a strong base of trust is crucial during these early years.  The most significant gift you can give your young child is the sense of being cared for by you.  Feelings of safety and trust allow children to expand beyond their own needs and to begin to appreciate the needs of others.  These feelings are the first steps toward becoming a caring and philanthropic person.

Philanthropy Concepts for the Infant through Preschool Child
•    Learning and understanding family rules form a basis for understanding the need for rules in the larger community.
•    Learning the fair application of rules and justice
•    Sharing and being the recipient of sharing
•    Learning to wait when other have needs that must be met
•    Exercising age-appropriate responsibilities to help others
•    Listening to others
•    Beginning to practice the basic language of philanthropy: sharing, giving, loving, and thanking

Ideas for You and Your Preschool Child
•    Use opportunities during playtime to teach sharing and caring behavior.
•    Choose and read stories with sharing and caring themes or messages.
•    See and talk about volunteers in action that you see around the community.
•    Give a gift of their artwork to others.
•    Share the practice of philanthropy that comes through your church or religion.
•    Openly discuss your family’s giving and sharing: “We send food to the shelter.”

Meeting the School Community:  Ages 5-8
Children in the early elementary grades are quite able to express their feelings about fairness, selfishness, sharing, caring, justice and equality.  Listening to and sharing their impressions will help them successfully negotiate the new school environment.  School situations require your children to take turns, to listen, to share, and to obey basic rules.  You can help your children by encouraging and rewarding these behaviors at home.

Philanthropy Concepts for the Early Elementary Child
•    Understanding why a community’s rules are important in protecting individuals
•    Cooperating and sharing
•    Respecting individual private property
•    Recognizing and dealing with emotions
•    Distinguishing between selfishness and selflessness
•    Understanding the concepts of extra and excess and the need to share with other who have less
•    Discussing the definition for “philanthropy” – simply the sharing of time, talent, or treasure

Ideas for You and Your Early Elementary Child
•    Identify and discuss the importance of local heroes
•    Introduce diverse cultures and encourage your children to develop interest and trust in people who may look different than members of their own family
•    Use your children’s natural emotional connection with animals and nature to stimulate caring and sharing
•    Introduce your children to play or social groups, or well-known national groups like Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts, with a focus on caring, sharing, and helping
•    Continue to choose storybooks with themes about sharing and giving
•    Begin to involve children in family activities that demonstrate giving and sharing that will build confidence in their own emerging abilities (encourage your children to give away extra toys, wearable clothes, or a small portion of their allowances)
•    Be a role model for giving and sharing – children will follow the models exhibited by the most central adults in their lives

Venturing into the Local Community:  Ages 9-11
Due to the greater skill and ability exhibited at this age, acts of helping and sharing increase.  Some kids will be able to see and find solutions to problems while most kids will realize that they can at least be part of the solution.

Philanthropy Concepts for the Upper Elementary Child
•    Understanding the term “common good” and its importance
•    Learning about nonprofit organizations and the role they play in the wider community
•    Recognizing a community figure who has acted philanthropically
•    Learning a contemporary example of how a nonprofit sector leader is making a difference for others

Ideas for You and Your Upper Elementary Child
•    Build good citizen habits by helping children to understand voting and elections – take them with you to the polls or on other election-related activities
•    Encourage involvement with an appropriate service-oriented group since friends and peers are increasingly important in shaping values and norms
•    Continue to encourage volunteering and giving in age-appropriate ways
•    Introduce and take seriously the concept of stewardship – of being the caretaker of something valuable for someone else

Entering the Adolescent Community:  Ages 12-14
The entry into adolescence is marked by a more intense interest in peers and in all things social.  A tendency toward more self-centeredness is normal, often marking a decline in interest, at least temporarily,  in community causes.  This retreat is balanced by another hallmark of adolescence – the stirring of the passions and emotions.  If this emotional ride can be attached to a cause through service, the result can really be a win-win for all concerned.

Philanthropy Concepts for the Middle School Child
•    Differentiating the roles of government, nonprofit, and the business sectors
•    Discussing sacrifices people have made for the benefit of an unknown person or group
•    Learning about organizations in the nonprofit sector that seek to empower minority groups
•    Recognizing a corporation that provides a philanthropic service to the community
•    Reviewing different jobs available in the nonprofit sector
•    Discussing the concepts of “common good” and “civil society”

Ideas for You and Your Middle School Child
•    Build important talents and strengths through age-appropriate, semi-independent volunteer opportunities and service tasks (volunteer experiences at this age are most successful when they involve a personal connection with someone needing help – these experiences build empathy)
•    Develop the inner citizen by encouraging involvement in school elections or in support roles for larger national questions or candidates
•    Validate and support their choices even if you would not have made the same choice – at this age, children can more tangibly connect their causes with organizations supporting those causes, opening the real potential for charitable giving (however, middle school children also need control)
•    Connect with a service-oriented youth organization to help kids that are seeking new challenges and deep peer relationships

Meeting the Larger Community:  Ages 15-18
High school students are ready to be introduced to all facets of philanthropy including concepts related to the economics, history, and geography of philanthropy as well as the roles of government, business, and the nonprofit sector.  Students in High School are ready to start trying on careers and are prime candidates for internships and intensive service-learning experiences in the nonprofit sector, particularly around the issues that energize them and ignite their passions.  Students who have benefited from these experiences and are ready to take on more challenging, long-term roles with nonprofits can be great candidates for leadership training.  Such training can build the social and organizational skills needed to do effective work while empowering the voice of youth.

Philanthropy Concepts for the High School Student
•    Understanding how an individual can act in the nonprofit sector for the common good
•    Discussing why people might sacrifice for the benefit on an unknown person
•    Understanding the definition of stewardship – sharing wisely the gifts and resources one has
•    Recognizing the relationship between individual rights and community responsibility
•    Discovering how the nonprofit community provides a forum for minority voices
•    Discussing how to actively respond to a community problem and identify an action that will help solve the problem

Ideas for You and Your High School Teen
•    Encourage your teens to be active, regular volunteers in organizations or causes they care about
•    Discuss public issues and ideas related to philanthropy (older adolescents are politically aware, and cynical, yet idealistic – discussions can help to sort the ideal and the real)
•    Be an advocate with your High School Teen for high quality service-learning in school
•    Model and encourage support of the political process and promote involvement in appropriate campaigns and causes
•    Help shape charitable giving attitudes and values which are honed at this age as teens learn about financial responsibilities, spending, saving, and budgeting (the parents’ role in this process is very important)
•    Provide information about volunteerism and service-learning opportunities (can lead to further exploration of careers and a more complete understanding of all the options available in the nonprofit sector as well as other professional jobs in government or business with a focus on public service)